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There are always ups and downs in life, which is every child must grow.
The child may face the life of adversity, such as interpersonal conflict, setbacks and failures; unfortunate accident, disaster caused by broken families, or abuse, domestic violence was plagued by poverty and ill health; bullying etc..
At this point, the feeling of loss and the loss of a strong wave of emotion is particularly easy to turn up, helpless children may feel anxious fear or anger out of control, and then form a downward force of traction.
Psychological studies have found that each child’s heart has a strong vitality and tenacity.
Not only is the infinite vastness of the talent life potential, elastic function has more similar air cushion, can affect the stock with the pressure or trouble hit and fall down the power, this need time to the sustainable development of the air cushion function in mind, psychology is called resilience.
Park Jurassic Park (Jurassic), there is a famous saying: life will find their own way out. It is a biological instinct to survive in adversity. In human history, it is possible to overcome the crisis and pressure in life, and there are many successful examples.
If the child can develop resilience to deal with life problems, the emotional distress will be effectively reduced, but also can concentrate on the success of learning. Therefore, to enhance the resilience of the child, not only to help their happy growth, but also to enhance the learning effect of important assets.
Professor Ceng Wenzhi has been devoted to the study of positive psychology and resilience. Professor Zeng wrote this article aims to provide some key strategies for educators and parents to help children not hinder development, courage and hope, and the thinking and methods to overcome the difficulties, the children in the face of adversity comes to produce reaction force, the road towards recovery.
曾文志：美国堪萨斯州立大学（Kansas State University）谘商与教育心理学系博士，台湾清华大学教育心理与谘商学系教授。1879计划暨中国心理咨询师继续教育标准建设项目讲师。
Ceng Wenzhi: (Kansas State University) Department of counseling and educational psychology, National Tsinghua University, Professor of educational psychology and counseling. 1879 program and Chinese psychological counselors continuing education standards construction project lecturer.
In adversity, you can change the future
First of all, to help children understand the concept of resilience, and resilience can do to help us through life difficulties, and inspire children to establish the face of adversity, you can change the future idea, is a very important start.
According to the definition of psychology, resilience refers to the process of experiencing the trauma, grief, threat, or major stressors, but can maintain a good adaptation process. Many studies have found that there are many factors that affect the resilience of the individual, family and social environment resources. Therefore, school education plays an important role.
Everyone has experienced adversity and setbacks, some people will be overwhelmed by the pressure, and finally the emergence of serious psychological symptoms; some people can adapt well, to show their ability, and have a healthy mind.
研究显示，这结果的差异，往往不在于个人的运气，而在于不同的行为、思想及行动。英国首相邱吉尔(Winston S. Churchill)相信：“乐观的人在每个困难里看到了机会；悲观的人在每个机会里看到了困难。”
The results of the study show that the difference is often not in the individual’s luck, but in different behaviors, thoughts and actions. British Prime Minister Churchill (Winston S. Churchill): the optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty; the pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity.
The difference between an idea or an action often makes a difference in your life. Although the reality is not a person can fully grasp, but a person’s behavior, beliefs, and real action, but can affect the development of the situation.
“成功者皆是起而行的行动派，他会寻找有利的情势，如果找不到，那就创造它”，英国戏剧大师萧伯纳（George Bernard Shaw）说：“生命，并不是关于寻找你自己，而是关于创造你自己。”付诸行动的人也许不一定会成功，但没有行动的人，就永远也没有证明自己的机会了。
Success is the act of action, he will find the favorable situation, if not, then create it, the British drama master Bernard Shaw (George Bernard Shaw) said: life is not about finding yourself, but on your own creation. Those who act may not always be successful, but those who do not have the opportunity to prove themselves.
Remember the 921 earthquake in Taiwan, the United States, New York, the terrorist attacks of the 911, as well as Japan’s top 311 earthquakes, these human catastrophe, resulting in numerous families broken and property losses. But even in the darkest days, life still continues, this is president Obama in the theater shooting massacre survivors when visiting once said.
Because of the disaster, humans are often able to actively show the resilience of life. When all the victims of the stampede in support, physical and mental trauma by comfort, even if their life has been greatly changed, unable to return to the past, but all efforts to have a consistent hope, is looking forward to you as soon as possible to restore the road.
Resilience is an act, thought, and action that can be learned, developed and enhanced. Many studies have shown that the main factor affecting the resilience is to have people’s care and support, including family, friends or teachers, can provide role models, courage and confidence to create love and trust.
In addition, factors associated with resiliency include some personal characteristics, such as: with action and planning ability, to have a positive view of self, certainly their strengths, to improve the communication skills and problem-solving ability, and emotional management.
Thus, the resilience comes from the normal human nature, rather than a specific function. Many people recover from the disaster, neither a smart genius, nor is it omnipotent superman. They’re just a bunch of unsung heroes. Therefore, every ordinary person can, can challenge the extraordinary situation.
The starting point on the road to recovery, we should give children the preliminary understanding, let the children understand the human has the elasticity, and the use of more resilient, although not stop but distress occurs, can make us stronger and more ability to resolve the difficult problem of life.
Six strategies to help children build resilience
Many people may think that the man who has recovered from adversity is not less experienced than he is, but he is luckier than others. However, eighty percent of the success stories are purely because of persistence. This is the famous American director Woody Alan (Woody Allen).
Resilience is an adaptive process that requires time and effort, rather than a person who has no or nothing. Therefore, anyone can learn and develop resilience. The crisis in each child’s life is different, and the coping style is different.
There is no standard procedure for building resilience, but rather the use of a variety of strategies that are appropriate for children and situations to help children recover from adversity. Here are six preventive strategies that can be integrated into teaching to guide children to develop resilience as soon as possible, in order to face the increasingly complex and rapidly changing society.
1 take care of yourself
The resilience is a process of time and effort, and it is important to maintain a healthy mind and energy to help you deal with the situation. We can teach our children to take care of themselves in any adversity. Regular routines, adequate sleep and rest, proper exercise, and a balanced diet can keep you alive.
If the unfortunate events affect the mood and feel the pressure, teach children to arrange some wholesome hobbies or activities, for example, journaling, meditation, exercise, or participate in community activities, can help relax.
In addition, let the children know, to escape the pressure and can not solve the problem, first calm down thinking, often can find the problem; and the more able to manage their emotions and behavior, the more can feel their ability.
2 make friends and build friendships
Looking for a friend to chat can often help to ease their emotions, to clarify the problem; to help a friend can usually make themselves feel happy, or even understand their own pain may not be what.
Therefore, to teach children how to make friends, including empathy training skills, take the initiative to help others, enthusiastic service, volunteer, will not feel isolated at school, and help children to expand their social networks, and close family members, friends or other people to establish a good relationship.
In the face of adversity, those who care about their children and are willing to listen to the child, can provide support and assistance to help children recover the road.
3 broaden your horizons and think of the good
Guiding children to avoid the crisis as an insurmountable problem, but also an important part of building resilience. Children often can not prevent the occurrence of major changes, but it can change the interpretation and response to this incident.
Teach your child that even in a situation of extreme pain, try to focus on your own perception of the overall context, not the fragment or the appearance of the thing. Ask the child to collect information and resources, do not let the mind and behavior constraints.
Why don’t you happen to me? The search for meaning is inevitable. So counseling children must learn to capture their own thoughts and feelings, analysis in adversity, how do you think? How do you feel? Write it down and look at it. It can often help children to assess themselves.
An optimistic outlook can make a child expect good things to happen. Guide your child to try to imagine what you want in your heart, not to worry too much about what you are afraid of. After all, the problem can not be solved, can not solve the problem, worry is useless.
The value of hope is to drive the child forward. When handling difficult situations to guide the children to the benefit of the doubt, can avoid the crisis as their will can not overcome the problem, when nothing is difficult for the children that they may get the motivation and courage to change danger into safety.
4 believe in yourself, make a difference
Disaster, misfortune, frustration and failure, often make people deny themselves and give up on themselves. However, in the face of adversity, it is important to have a positive view of yourself. Teach children not to focus on their own imperfections, and focus on their strengths, the child will be able to have more self-confidence.
A person who is in poor health may have the gift of painting. A poor person may have excellent leadership skills. A person who looks ordinary may have a kind heart.
Encourage children not because certain aspects of the imperfect and deny their own learning through a sense of humor and being able to laugh at yourself, be yourself, and try to play their own strengths and virtues, often can help you successfully adapt to life, and recover from adversity.
5 in the face of difficulties, learn from
Avoiding stress is not the solution. It is no use to run into a problem without saying a word. Thought and action are consequences. In the face of adversity, not afraid of difficulties, but also to guide the child to do everything possible to help themselves to the road to recovery, as well as to help children learn to adapt to their own past experience of success.
Collect relevant resources and information, with their own strengths and skills, make decisive action.
Human cognition and potential need to be developed. Perhaps the beginning in the face of adversity in children is helpless, but if the child will guide each dilemma as a challenge to your potential, every crisis as an opportunity to learn, then the child’s potential may be excited, may also get to learn and grow from.
Many people have lost, only know how to cherish possession; after the trauma, only to understand what is important; in the effort, only to find the value of self. In the face of adversity to develop their own potential, can help children develop good interpersonal relationships, increase awareness of life, improve the integrity of the spirit.